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My.Daily.Distraction ~ Post 179: Canine Rhyme Time

04 Thursday Jun 2015

Posted by duckykoren in Dogs, Humour, Pets, Poetry

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dogs, Friends, Humour, names, Pets, Poetry

I’d like to share a conversation I had with a friend a few years back.

This happened as I arrived to visit her just after she moved into a new home.

When she answered the door, she was accompanied by her dog.

“Hi Muffy,” I said, reaching down to scratch behind the dog’s ear.

That’s when another dog began to bark outside.

My friend must have seen the worried look on my face as I looked up and down the street to see if there was a loose dog headed our way….

“That’s our neighbour’s dog, Buffy.”

“Ha,” I replied, “Buffy and Muffy, …funny!”

She then pointed to the opposite neighbouring house.

“And my neighbours in that house over there have a dog called Scruffy.”

I was beginning to sense a theme.

“Buffy, Muffy and Scruffy,” I said… “That’s hilarious!”

I stepped forward to enter the house.

However, my friend wasn’t finished with me quite yet.

“And do you see that blue Victorian house over there?” she then asked me.

I feebly nodded my head yes.

“That’s where Duffy the dog lives with his owners.”

I winced.

“And last but not least,” my friend continued pointing at the bungalow across the street…

“There’s another dog who lives in that house, and would you like to guess the name of that dog?”

“No,” I said trying not to cringe. “Tell me…”

“Fluffy.”

Sigh…

In closing:

So there you have it in a short story

About dog owning neighbours whose names rhyme incorrigibly

Served with a helping of humour on the side

You know, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

My.Daily.Distraction ~ Post 173: Benny The Brat

21 Tuesday Apr 2015

Posted by duckykoren in cookies, Dogs, Nova Scotia, Pets

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Benny And The Jets, CFB Greenwood, Children, Cookies, dogs, Elton John, Nova Scotia, Pets, School

image

Who knows what goes through the mind of a dog…

…or why?

Case in point:

When I was a teenager I had a Pomeranian dog. I named him Benny, after Elton John’s song Benny and the Jets.

I bought him as a puppy. He was red with a black nose. People told me that he looked like a little fox. He was adorable.

Most thankfully, Benny was a good and happy dog.

When I got married and moved to Nova Scotia, Benny came to live with me and my new husband.

We live in a modest little bungalow on the edge of a forest just outside Canadian Forces Base, Camp Greenwood in Nova Scotia.

A small public-school bordered on our backyard.

There was a pathway alongside of my house on which the little children would walk to and from school every day.

Benny was pretty good about the children and let them pass by undisturbed.

However there was a young brother and sister which for whatever reason peaked Benny’s interest.

I knew the exact moment that they were walking by the house on their way to school because it was the only time that Benny ever barked.

I could never figure out why.

One day I was in the front yard when the little brother walked by me on his way to school. He was not accompanied by his sister.

I found it interesting that Benny did not begin barking as he approached.

The little boy stopped and began talking to me.

“What’s your dogs name?” he asked me.

“His name is Benny.”

“Where’s your sister?” I asked the little chap.

“At home sick.”

“I’m sorry,” I answered. “I hope she feels better soon.”

“I like your dog,” the youngster said to me.

“I’m glad,” I replied.

“Your dog doesn’t like my sister though.”

I was suddenly intrigued by the little guy. He was telling me stuff about my dog that I wasn’t aware of.

“How do you know that Benny doesn’t like your sister?” I asked.

“The other day, me and my sister wanted to give him a cookie, and he let me give him my cookie.”

“That was very nice of you, thank you!”

“But when my sister tried to give him hers he wouldn’t take it.”

“Really?”

“No,” continued the little boy…

“… He just peed on it.”

My world came to a complete standstill as I mentally weighed what the little boy had just told me.

All these years later, I’m still wondering what was my dog thinking when he peed on that poor little girl’s cookie offering.

Then I think of that little girl.

I hope my dog’s actions didn’t scar her.

Nevertheless, it was by far the brattiest thing that Benny ever did…

…And I can’t stop myself from smiling every time I think about it.

My.Daily.Distraction ~ Post 148: Welcome Spring

19 Thursday Mar 2015

Posted by duckykoren in Animals, Dogs, Pets

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Animals, dogs, Exercise, Peys, Spring, Sun, Walking, Walks, weather

image

Now that the snow is beginning to melt away and the sidewalks are visible again, I’m happy to report that the dogs and I just went out for our first long walkabout of the year.

Bobby wasn’t very happy about having to put on his navy blue Brock University hoodie but I just told him to deal with it.

Sophie didn’t slide into her red woollen hoodie as easily as she did in the fall. This means a bit of a weight gain for her. We’ll just have to do a couple of extra laps around the block before our next visit to Dr. Sam, their veterinarian.

During the dog’s check up last spring, Dr. Sam told us that the previous winter was so severe that there was significant weight gain in all of her patient dogs. One golden retriever put on twenty-four pounds. Sophie, fortunately weighed in with only one extra pound. Bobby, on the other hand still maintained his svelte physique.

The day is sunny and bright, but a tad frigid. I still needed mitts, hat and a scarf to protect me from the cold as I have no fur.

Deal with it, I told myself.

It was nice to see the dogs tend to their toilette au naturale, just the way they like it. Doggie bodily functions just tend to run better during a morning constitution on a nice day.

Oh, how much I missed this…

Needless to say they were very happy to be out and about again. They sniffed every gate post and dispatched their share of pee-mail.

I almost forgot to get out of the way when Bobby started kicking his legs back after one of his pees. His legs might be small but they’re mighty. He powerful scratches into the damp earth leaves deeper divots than a pro golfer.

It’s a rain of earthy clumps once his back paws get going. I cringe every time I hear one hit a nearby car. Sometimes I get covered in the stuff.

Bobby’s favourite part of the whole walk is a fence where we make a turn to head back to our street. That’s where all the wind swept leaves collect. He sure loves to wade through through the leaves of yesteryear. I think it’s the sound of the crunching leaves that really puts him in his zen zone.

Usually, both dogs prefer not to get there paws wet. However, on this landmark occasion, both Sophie and Bobby made sure that they got they’re paws all nice and muddy for when they get home.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My.Daily.Distraction ~ Post 140: Dogs Blessed Us Every One

11 Wednesday Mar 2015

Posted by duckykoren in Animals, Dogs, Pets

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Animals, Blessings, dogs, pack, Pets

image

Many years back we rescued a five year old golden retriever named Hannah.

After we brought her home, we were so happy with her that we decided to invite another golden retriever, Hannah’s best friend, 6 year old Gemma, to come and live with us as well.

When I told my Father that we were getting a second dog, he recited the following, something he read somewhere, he told me:

“They say that two dogs are better than one dog…

Three dogs are better than two dogs…

And four dogs are better than three dogs…

However, five dogs ARE NOT BETTER then four dogs.”

Less than a year after that, we introduced a third golden retriever into our pack. Her name was Bailey and now at three dogs, she completed our dog complement.

And we learned that three dogs are indeed better than two dogs.

We had a full dog house.

As far as my father’s statement that four dogs are better than three dogs,

Well…

I’m just going to have to trust him on that one as we have totally ran out of couch space.

If anyone stopped by our place for a visit, they’d be regulated to the floor.

Which eventually led us to go shopping for more couches…

…but that’s a story for another day.

I once heard someone say that if you get one really incredible dog in your lifetime, consider yourself blessed.

How fortunate are we to have had three, and all at once too!

All three Golden Retrievers lived till they were thirteen before we had to say goodbye.

Now, we have little Sophie and Bobby.

Even though they are so much smaller than the Retrievers, we’ve found that they take up just as much space on the couch…

…And in our hearts as well!

***Photo above is me holding Bailey while I give Gemma a kiss. Gemma was still recovering from her breast cancer surgery which gave us an extra 6 months to be with her. #Blessed

My.Daily.Distraction ~ Post 127: …It Was A Dark And Creepy Night

26 Thursday Feb 2015

Posted by duckykoren in Astronomy, Poetry

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astronomy, dogs, moon, Poems, Poetry, sky, Space

I am not the superstitious sort.

However, I do believe that there is something about a full moon that does strange things to people.

As a union steward, no one has to tell me when there’s a full moon outside.

When the full moon coincides with Friday the 13th, I have standing orders with my supervisor that I will not be showing up for work that night.

It’s just too unsafe.

Well, several years ago, I was getting some pretty vibrant heebie jeebies on the shop floor.

Everyone seemed a little unhinged, including myself.

There was no doubt in my mind that we were in full moon mode.

And so, when my shift was finally over at midnight, the first thing I did when I got outside was look for the moon.

It was a clear sky, but there was no moon.

“Strange,” I thought to myself. The parking lot at work is one of the best places I know of to get a good view of the night sky. There were no trees or building to block the view.

On the drive home from work, I still could not catch a glimpse of the moon.

Not one.

“Okay,” I thought to myself.

“I’ll just have to look some more when I get home.”

Once I got home, I leashed up my dogs and we went on our late night walk.

It was about 1:00 a.m.

We walked…

And walked…

And walked…

Until we reached a field where we could finally see the whole night sky.

And you know what?

There was no moon.

In keeping with the old ways, I decided to mark this dark and creepy night with an obligatory, Frost-esque style poem:

Here goes…

*ahem*

IT WAS A DARK AND CREEPY NIGHT

“Hey diddle diddle
From a field in the middle
I searched the sky for the moon
My two dogs and I
Saw only saw black in the sky
And not even a meteorological balloon.”

…

I rushed the dogs back home in record time.

It’s never happened again.

My.Daily.Diversion ~ Post Ninety: Mystery Munch

19 Monday Jan 2015

Posted by duckykoren in DNA, Dogs, Pets, winter, Writing

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Chomp, dogs, eating, inspiration, joys, munch, Mystery, Princess Sophie, scandalous, The Da Vinci Code, Walking, winter, Writing

When I cannot go to the inspiration…

I must wait for inspiration to come to me.

Case in point…

After several days of writer’s block, today comes the long awaited glimmer, courtesy of our dog who is a poodle mix, Princess Sophie named after a character in “The Davinci Code.”

It happens this morning as I’m outside walking Princess Sophie, taking in the winter air, melting snows and patiently waiting while she does her morning toilette. As I wait for her butt to drop, her playful attitude conveys to me that she has no interest whatsoever in what I want.

Instead, she insists that it’s time to celebrate anything and everything that seems remotely edible, and even a few things that are evidently not.

As she snuffles inch by inch through the grass, I cannot help but involuntarily stiffen each time she comes to an abrupt halt. As I watch in pending horror, she begins to thrash her snout deeper amid the ground salad of dried leaves, mouldy wet grass, sticks, and various clumps of dubious D.N.A.

I know it will only be a matter of seconds before she will raise her head, look me straight in the eye, and defyingly begin to noisily chomp on some treasured mystery munch.

That’s when I spring into action and begin the purging process.

It’s not pretty, but I usually win. That is, unless she manages to swallow it first.

So, what can I learn from this?

In a way, Princess Sophie’s scandalous joys are not too different from my own.

How often in life have I jumped the gun and taken upon myself things that seemed harmless enough on the outside, yet potentially disastrous for me on the inside?

How many times did family and friends spring into action when I was too daft to realize that my well being had been compromised.

And so it should be.

These days I’m more careful of what I take in, as I’m sure you are too.

Though, I can’t help but admire the “joi de vivre” of Princess Sophie.

Sometimes it’s a good thing to munch on something before you’re sure you know what it is. In this way, we learn new things, make new friends, carve new paths.

If your mystery munch works and is good for you, then celebrate!

If not, then all you have to do is spit it out.

Quickly.

Neatness does not count.

At least, not for Princess Sophie.

My.Daily.Distraction ~ Post 55: The Barbie Days Of Summer

13 Saturday Dec 2014

Posted by duckykoren in Barbies, Children, fashion, haute couture, Toys

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Barbies, Clothes, crochet, dogs, fashion, hair, play, sewing, sharing, Shoes, suitcases, summer, Toys

Now that the toy buying season is upon us, for the last little while I have been thinking about how much I enjoyed playing with Barbies.

How wonderful was that?

It was a very good feeling when you popped open your Barbie Suitcase or emptied your bag on an outstretched blanket in the middle of the park. Remember the instant effusion of fashion, colour and fun?

Do you recall the little mini Barbie fashion magazines that came with an official clothing purchase? That was my very first introduction to haute couture. I was only four years old.

There were a few lucky girls who had acquired all things Barbie thanks to their affluent family ties. However, most of us had a tolerable amount of Barbie clothes.

And then there was the communal wedding dress…

There was one credo though, that was shared by us all, whether you came from an affluent family or not. And that was…..

…no Barbie should ever have to go naked!

Naked Barbies were a very sad and sorry sight, (unless they were in the process of being changed of course.)

And still to this day, the thought of being able to find only one Barbie shoe still makes me very sad.

It was surprising at how far girls could stretch and manipulate a very limited amount of Barbie clothes. When times were desperate I would take to needle & thread, crochet hook, even fabric remnants and craft Barbie fashions of my own.

Indeed, I remember times when a new Barbie initiate had only a swimsuit or single dress in her possession, then we would rummage through our bags for bits and pieces of garb that we were willing to part with. Mind you, these would tend to be well worn, and most likely in need of several stitches, but nevertheless, these small tokens were welcomed by the needy recipients.

I’ve lost track of what Barbie is up to these days, but I have no doubt that her figure is still perfect and that she has not developed the obligatory grey hair and other challenges that come with age.

I am happy to report that I still have my original Barbie doll given to me way back in the early sixties. She’s a bit scarred here and there mind you. Her red bouffant hair has regrettably, had a bit of a trim, and her left hand has lost a finger thanks to one of our former dogs, Mr. Itchy. Otherwise, she is good….

…better than me in fact.

P.S. My Barbie is currently as naked as the proverbial jay bird.

Any and all donations are welcome!

P.S. (Sigh… I’ll save my darker thoughts on 1960’s brainwashing, gender assumptions and society’s insistence that young unsuspecting girls adhere to conformity for another day.)

My.Daily.Distraction ~ Post 51: The Blow Dryer Blues

09 Tuesday Dec 2014

Posted by duckykoren in Beauty, haircare, marketing, Poems, Poetry

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Anger, appliance, bank, Beauty, beauty salon, blow dryer, cnn, crazy, dogs, hair, Haircare, laugh, life, nickel, Poems, Poetry, power, Time, wasted

Call CNN… there’s breaking news
I’ve got a condition called the blow dryer blues
I’m mad at all the time that I’ve wasted and spent
On something that gives split ends and don’t even pay rent…

My heart rate goes up and my temper catches fire
Every time I need to use my blow dryer
This evil appliance has me in it’s power
Every single time that I step from the shower…

Tell me why no one has ever tried
For an easier way to get my hair dry.
If I had my way we’ d have a think tank
And come up with an answer and laugh straight to the bank…

If I had a nickel for every minute I’ve spent
Sitting in the bathroom hunched over and bent
Getting dizzy from the heat and the hazy
It’s more than enough to drive someone crazy…

My poor puppies how they’ve tried to ignore
The loud and irritating blow dryer roar.
I’d have more time with family and friends
Instead of a stiff neck and singed ponytail ends…

Now you may wonder on why I insist
To let this machine get me so pissed
You might think I’m crazy to get so hot
Over a stupid machine that’s ten dollars store bought…

I’ve come close to making the call
To throw it away and go au naturale
Time wasted may not mean a lot to you
But when I get to heaven I’m gonna feel like a fool…

My New Year’s resolution on January one
Will be to throw it away, and then I’ll be done
What’s gonna happen in my happy home
Gonna turn it into a blow.dryer.free zone….

What does the blow dryer say?

My.Daily.Distraction ~ Post 40: Travelling With Dogs

28 Friday Nov 2014

Posted by duckykoren in Animals, Dogs, Pets, Poems, Poetry, Travel

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Amimals, Bed, Disney, dogs, Highway, Kids, Pets, Poetry, Restaurants, Sleep, Travel, Treats

It hardly seems like like twenty years
When we packed up the kids
And put the car in gear
And drove for twenty-four hours
To do the Disney thing…

And I’ve got to say those times were the best
But times have changed
Now that they’ve left the nest
It’s nice for hubby and me to be a twosome again

Like I said before the kids are now grown
So now whenever we leave home
We still have two small fry
And they got four legs and a tail…

There’s Sweet Miss Sophie and she’s a Shi-Poo
She likes to hide the toys
From Bobby “Little Man” Shih-tzu
It’s a match made in heaven
And they’re quite a pair…

So now when we travel away from home
The dogs ride in the back
Boy, they hate being there alone
And you know, they always kick up a noisy fuss…

So they both make the leap and then sit on my lap
Then they settle down and take a long nap
Next thing you know
They’re snoring in my ears…

They’re favourite part is when we stop to eat
Because they know that then they’re in for a treat
Then they get a walk in the tall grass
And have a long pee…

But they’ve got to have ketchup on their french fry
And if you don’t put out they’ll whimper and cry
They’ll act like their dear lives
Have been put on the line…

That’s way it is
That’s the way it goes
When you travel with critters with cold black noses
Lord, they take up the bed and then sleep like a log…

But to tell you the truth it’s really okay
And we just wouldn’t have it any other way
Because we really love traveling the highway
With our two dogs…

My.Daily.Distraction ~ Part 21: Don’t Bark At The Bubbles

19 Wednesday Nov 2014

Posted by duckykoren in Animals, Dogs, Pets, Poetry

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Animals, Barking, Bubbles, dogs, Golden Retrievers, Pets, Poetry, Toys

It was many years ago
That my sister gave to me
A sweet golden retriever
Who they had called Bailey…

She loved to be outside
And watch the children as they played
Her favourite toy of all
Were all the bubbles that they made…

I told her…

Don’t bark at the bubbles
They’re only air you see
Save it for the strangers
And the cats on our TV…

Don’t bark at the bubbles
You’re making too much noise
Save it up for Sophie-Dog
For when she steals your toys.

For eight good years we loved her
And her silly little ways
And so she loved us back
We shared many happy days…

Years later came the day
When we had to say goodbye
I gently kissed your forehead
and I couldn’t help but cry.

She whispered…

Don’t cry at my troubles
I need to be set free
Think instead of bubbles
And how happy they made me…

Don’t cry for my troubles
Don’t let me make you sad
Remember my snow angels
And all the fun I had.

It’s years now now since she left us
I miss having her around
We now have little Bobby
Who we adopted from the pound

I always try to think of her
When I see floating bubbles
And remember how she taught me
On how to bravely face my troubles…

I try not to bark at troubles
Its a waste of air you see
I save it for the play fights
With dogs Sophie and Bobby…

I don’t bark at my troubles
It makes a lot of noise
I save it for the dogs
For when they try to steal my toys…

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