Upon returning to work after a two week holiday, I learned the sad news that an old friend and co-worker’s father had passed away.
Finding the appropriate moment during the shift, I spotted him alone and offered him my condolences.
“Was it sudden?” I asked.
“No,” he answered with a sad smile.
“Dad was 101 years old. He died the day before I was to take him to the home.”
Then my coworker continued on, explaining to me that several months before…
“Dad had all his funeral plans pre-arranged…”
“That was good of him…” I responded.
“Best and smartest thing he ever did for us. Dad even picked out his own suit,” my friend admitted with obvious pride.
“However, when my sister went to the funeral home to deliver his suit, she was told by the staff that they didn’t need the pants.”
“What?” I asked…
“Do you mean to tell me that they buried him without any pants on?” I asked…
…“Is this common?” I then added.
“I guess,” he answered. “Must be too hard for the undertakers to get the pants on. Besides, when they’re in the casket, you only see them from the waist up anyway.”
Walking away from the conversation to get back to work I pondered this, and wondered if it was true.
Are people really buried with no pants on?
That evening, I decided to conduct my own investigation.
Since I knew no morticians personally, I turned turn this question over to one of the most no-nonsense, and fact-based sources I knew of, well known for it’s rich insight and expertise:
Twitter.
Keeping my enquiry below the legal 140 character limit, I began my investigation into this mystery with the following professional and high calibre tweet, worthy of any crime solving detective:
“Spoke with a friend who recently lost dad. Funeral home told him people are buried butt naked waist down. Is this true? Just wondering…”
Soon afterward, the replies started rolling get
@BinaBecker No, thankfully. But they may well be buried without socks or shoes–putting those on is apparently too much hassle for undertakers.
Then came…
@PaganGmaSayin Let me know if you get an answer, please? That just seems weird…
The discussion continued with…
@bewichd My mom’s in a Tpot, EX will be spread at Disneyworld, me, I’m hoping to be droppd in Ikea or Neimans (dad’s at sea)
The next day, I approached my co-worker, the one who had started it all and asked him…
“You were serious, right? You weren’t just pulling my leg?”
“I was dead serious,” he replied.
And so, what could these implications mean?
Can you imagine CNN breaking the news…
It would only be a matter of time before families all over North America would be demanding the immediate explanations regarding the (lacking) wardrobe of their dearly departed loved ones.
God forbid that dear Aunt Rose went to her grave without any knickers on.
This must mean that there are millions of people walking around in the afterlife wrapped in borrowed towels.
The final reply from twitter was as follows:
@duskwynd not according the funeral director I spoke to this w/end – ppl are buried in the clothing provided by their families
So, there you have it.
Of course, it is important for families to be vigilant and ensure that everything is in place when the time comes.
However, in future, it will be difficult for me to attend funerals without wondering…
“Are they or aren’t they?”
Only your local mortician knows for sure.
