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I’ve been blessed with a good family. Throughout my life they have been a continual source of joy, love and affirmation.

Take for example, my Aunt in Virginia, who is always surprising me with little comments to my blog posts.

One of her latest comments came in response to my blog post 181, which was titled ‘Dysfunctional Shopping.’ It was all about the trials and tribulations of preparing for my daughter’s wedding.

In case you missed it, I’ve included a slightly truncated version of her comments to my blog post below:


Irmgard Scherer said:

June 20, 2015 at 7:51 pm

It’s soothing to know that the female condition around wedding preparations (especially a daughter) lives and breathes in quiet desperation in Canada, no less than in Spain, in Germany, in Virginia and Fairfax. I hear wedding plans are positively excruciating. Why do we put ourselves through such misery for, if truth be told, often ill-fated matrimonials? Whatever happened to the fairer and saner modus operandus for marriage, like eloping, much cheaper and more humane for the bride’s parents? I guess suggesting the elopeness option now, even floating the idea of a grand reception with family after the honeymoon and upon return, might be a little late. But September is a long way off. Just a thought! Thanks Doris for the blog. Underneath it all, it looks like you’re excited and having more than a little fun.


And now, for my response…

My Dear Aunt:

Please be assured that it did not take long for me to exhaust my arguments and all options for an elopement.

To put it euphemistically, those seeds of suggestion fell on rocky ground.

My Mother was very much in agreement with you as well. She was horrified over the impending expense. I’m sure that she would have bought the happy couple the fanciest ladder she could find.

I remember way back when I got married just out of high school. One of my close girlfriends from school attended the wedding. Imagine my horror a few days later, when she confided to me that she had never been so drunk in her life as she had been at my wedding. She then told me all the tragic details of her ride home from the reception which included many roadside stops.

To think that this was how she would remember the happiest day in my life was disappointing.

My Aunt Victoria in Cleveland once told me, that the average wedding in her day and age (mid 1950’s) served only coffee and cake. Wedding gifts consisted of tea towels, a vase, or perhaps a cup and saucer.

Times were indeed much simpler then.

When I try to understand why my daughter and her fiancé wanted to invest time and money in a wedding, I believe it is because they wish to create a memorable occasion to celebrate with their friends and family.

Several years ago, Frank and I attended a family wedding with our daughter and future son-in-law. I was moved at how obviously smitten he was with the idea of a wedding. It showed me what a truly romantic guy he was.

My daughter was a lucky girl.

Wedding celebrations are rare in our family.

To the bride and groom’s credit, they have shouldered the majority of decision making and preparation planning. Just the thought of all the details involved leaves me weary and anxious.

However, I can happily say at this point in time, with the wedding two months away…

“Ich bin zufrieden…”

Or as translated from German to English…

“I am content.”

Both sides of the family are playing major roles in helping with expenses and planning.

In closing, you are correct in your observation that I am having more than a little bit of fun.

This wedding has turned into a family project that I believe is bringing out the best in each of us.

Proof positive that out of the worst of times, can come the best of times.

With much love…

Your niece,

Doris xo