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Call CNN… there’s breaking news
I’ve got a condition called the blow dryer blues
I’m mad at all the time that I’ve wasted and spent
On something that gives split ends and don’t even pay rent…

My heart rate goes up and my temper catches fire
Every time I need to use my blow dryer
This evil appliance has me in it’s power
Every single time that I step from the shower…

Tell me why no one has ever tried
For an easier way to get my hair dry.
If I had my way we’ d have a think tank
And come up with an answer and laugh straight to the bank…

If I had a nickel for every minute I’ve spent
Sitting in the bathroom hunched over and bent
Getting dizzy from the heat and the hazy
It’s more than enough to drive someone crazy…

My poor puppies how they’ve tried to ignore
The loud and irritating blow dryer roar.
I’d have more time with family and friends
Instead of a stiff neck and singed ponytail ends…

Now you may wonder on why I insist
To let this machine get me so pissed
You might think I’m crazy to get so hot
Over a stupid machine that’s ten dollars store bought…

I’ve come close to making the call
To throw it away and go au naturale
Time wasted may not mean a lot to you
But when I get to heaven I’m gonna feel like a fool…

My New Year’s resolution on January one
Will be to throw it away, and then I’ll be done
What’s gonna happen in my happy home
Gonna turn it into a blow.dryer.free zone….

What does the blow dryer say?